Trends of the Family
Hello everyone!
The second week of classes is over, and I am so pumped! I love what I’m learning and I’m excited to share it with anyone who will listen (more on that later). Something we focused on this week in my Family Relations class was the current trends of the family. This is important because in order to properly advocate for the family and promote important change, we have to know where the world is going. We discussed several trends, including divorce rates, cohabitation, and premarital sex. We also discussed several myths about marriage and family, which were fascinating.
The main topic I wanted to talked about today is cohabitation, which is something that has interested me since last semester. We see cohabitating couples every day in TV shows and movies. It seems like a natural precursor to marriage. People assume that they can test their relationship compatibility before they make the commitments required in marriage, and they have the option to back out if it doesn’t seem to work. Oftentimes, children are born in these type of relationships. Though it seems to be a good test run in a time where marriage can be a overhwelming step, cohabitation presents many problems.
The first is that you truly can’t replicate the marriage commitment outside of marriage. Part of the marriage commitment is complete unity with your spouse in areas such as finances or your mindset. With the option to leave hanging over the relationship, it’s difficult to become unified. It’s easy to let selfishness take control when a good relationship will inevitably require sacrifices.
One of my favorite books on dating and marriage is How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk by John Van Epp, which I studied last semester in my Preparation for Marriage class. In a chapter titled “My Word Is My Bond—Maybe,” Van Epp covers commitments and cohabitation, and says, “Marital commitment, by definition, includes faith and risk. You cannot practice or test this type of commitment” (281). Yes, this commitment is scary, and many of us come from homes that have been split by divorce, but attempting to test a marriage relationship can diminish your success.
Another problem with cohabitation is addressed in a report by called “Knot Yet” by the National Marriage Project. In this report it discusses what’s called the “Great Crossover.” This means that the age of marriage has risen, but the average age when a woman would have her first birth has not, and more children are born out of wedlock and possibly into unstable living conditions. The relationship of their parents may dissolve, and they may find new partners, but the stress on the children is significant. The “Knot Yet” report states, “It’s true that many children are successful at navigating their way through these relationships; but many others pay academic, psychological, and financial costs for their entire lives.” (32)
Those are just some of the reasons why cohabitation can harm relationships, and I may discuss this subject again later on in the semester. To end my post, I wanted to share a cool experience I had this week! Those of you who know me know that I am very passionate about marriage and family topics, and I love to discuss them with anyone who will listen. On Tuesday I was walking on campus with my cousin and telling her about some of the trends of the family that we had discussed earlier that day in class. I’d been talking for a while, and there was a girl walking ahead of us for several minutes as we trekked across campus. Suddenly she turned around to face us and said, “I’m learning so much right now!” I got really excited that she had been interested in what I was saying! We talked a bit and then she went into a different building, but I was happy that I was able to accidentally influence someone I didn’t know in a positive way.
That’s all, folks! New posts will be coming every Saturday, with maybe an odd one during the week every once in a while. We’ll see :) Leave a comment if you like!
—Audrey Kaydrey
The second week of classes is over, and I am so pumped! I love what I’m learning and I’m excited to share it with anyone who will listen (more on that later). Something we focused on this week in my Family Relations class was the current trends of the family. This is important because in order to properly advocate for the family and promote important change, we have to know where the world is going. We discussed several trends, including divorce rates, cohabitation, and premarital sex. We also discussed several myths about marriage and family, which were fascinating.
The main topic I wanted to talked about today is cohabitation, which is something that has interested me since last semester. We see cohabitating couples every day in TV shows and movies. It seems like a natural precursor to marriage. People assume that they can test their relationship compatibility before they make the commitments required in marriage, and they have the option to back out if it doesn’t seem to work. Oftentimes, children are born in these type of relationships. Though it seems to be a good test run in a time where marriage can be a overhwelming step, cohabitation presents many problems.
The first is that you truly can’t replicate the marriage commitment outside of marriage. Part of the marriage commitment is complete unity with your spouse in areas such as finances or your mindset. With the option to leave hanging over the relationship, it’s difficult to become unified. It’s easy to let selfishness take control when a good relationship will inevitably require sacrifices.
One of my favorite books on dating and marriage is How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk by John Van Epp, which I studied last semester in my Preparation for Marriage class. In a chapter titled “My Word Is My Bond—Maybe,” Van Epp covers commitments and cohabitation, and says, “Marital commitment, by definition, includes faith and risk. You cannot practice or test this type of commitment” (281). Yes, this commitment is scary, and many of us come from homes that have been split by divorce, but attempting to test a marriage relationship can diminish your success.
Another problem with cohabitation is addressed in a report by called “Knot Yet” by the National Marriage Project. In this report it discusses what’s called the “Great Crossover.” This means that the age of marriage has risen, but the average age when a woman would have her first birth has not, and more children are born out of wedlock and possibly into unstable living conditions. The relationship of their parents may dissolve, and they may find new partners, but the stress on the children is significant. The “Knot Yet” report states, “It’s true that many children are successful at navigating their way through these relationships; but many others pay academic, psychological, and financial costs for their entire lives.” (32)
Those are just some of the reasons why cohabitation can harm relationships, and I may discuss this subject again later on in the semester. To end my post, I wanted to share a cool experience I had this week! Those of you who know me know that I am very passionate about marriage and family topics, and I love to discuss them with anyone who will listen. On Tuesday I was walking on campus with my cousin and telling her about some of the trends of the family that we had discussed earlier that day in class. I’d been talking for a while, and there was a girl walking ahead of us for several minutes as we trekked across campus. Suddenly she turned around to face us and said, “I’m learning so much right now!” I got really excited that she had been interested in what I was saying! We talked a bit and then she went into a different building, but I was happy that I was able to accidentally influence someone I didn’t know in a positive way.
That’s all, folks! New posts will be coming every Saturday, with maybe an odd one during the week every once in a while. We’ll see :) Leave a comment if you like!
—Audrey Kaydrey
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